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A TAPster notes that the House’s proposed budget includes a provision that would direct the Department of Administration to look into selling “state-owned land, buildings, and other assets that are unused, underused, or do not involve a core function of government.”
 
It did not take this wag long to come up with some suggestions:
 
“Battleship North Carolina. Sell it to Carnival Cruise Lines and ask them to drag it out of the Cape Fear River muck and put it to work as a cruise ship.
 
“State Ports Authority. Shut it down and sell its riverfront property in Wilmington and Morehead City to condo developers. As we’ve said before, the pirates learned 400 years ago that the North Carolina coast is called the Graveyard of the Atlantic for a good reason.
 
“All those state cars parked on Blue Ridge Road. Why are so many of them parked there all the time anyway?
 
“The NC Railroad Company. Why is the state in the railroad business? Actually, the state only owns the right of way between Morehead City and Charlotte: 100 feet wide and 300 miles long. Sell it to Norfolk Southern or CSX and see if they can get a passenger train from Raleigh to Charlotte in less time than it takes to drive.
 
“Governor’s Mansion. Why does the Gov get a free place to stay? The Speaker of the House and President Pro Tem rent apartments or buy condos in Raleigh. And, she’s never there when you need her, anyway, because she’s off at a horse race or cutting a ribbon. Give her a state-owned cell phone and convert the mansion to a cozy B&B.
 
“The Western Mansion. Seriously?
 
“All those fancy new state-owned office towers in downtown Raleigh. If the GOP successfully shrinks state government, there won’t be enough bureaucrats to fill these up. Plus, did anybody think to include some operating dollars in the skinny state budget for these new places?
 
“Every DOT dump truck. Why does the state need to own many dump trucks? Wouldn’t it be cheaper to pay a local dump trucker to haul rocks or dirt or whatever DOT hauls?
 
“Mecklenburg County. Give it away. More trouble than it’s worth.
 
“Highway 12 on the Outer Banks. Quick sale before hurricane season and the state has to pay a gazillion dollars to rebuild it – again.
 
“The State Aquariums. Free Willie!”
 

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