The Crown Prince of Charlatans

One moment Barack Obama sounds like a wild-eyed liberal who’s out to “save the planet” from the icecaps melting – the next he’s turning around and coming out for offshore drilling. One moment John McCain sounds like a two-fisted independent and maverick – but at the same time down in the bowels of McCain Central a phalanx of Washington lobbyists are running his campaign. The only breath of candor this week was Paris Hilton, who hit the nail on the head in her ad when she said, I’m hot.



But if Ms. Hilton is Belle de jour, in the muddy waters of politics John McCain and Barack Obama are pikers. Because the Crown Prince of Charlatans is John Edwards.



He’s moderate. He’s ultra-liberal. He’s Mahatma Gandhi. He’s getting $400 haircuts in Beverly Hills. He’s P. T. Barnum and the flim-flam man and he’s living a life even a Rockefeller would envy – and, now, he’s done the impossible: In one fell swoop he’s made the National Enquirer a legitimate news magazine.



The Enquirer painted a pretty unflattering portrait of Edwards: While his wife had cancer, Edwards had an affair with a blonde aide. Fathered a “love child.” Got another staffer to say he – not Edwards – was the father. Got a wealthy friend to pay the woman $15,000 a month. And, finally, got caught red-handed sneaking out of a Beverly Hills hotel at 2:40 in the morning after a rendezvous in her room.



Back in 1984 when an errant tabloid newspaper publisher made the mistake of printing a story that said Jim Hunt was gay, Hunt didn’t pussyfoot around. He erupted, called a press conference and said the equivalent of, ‘That’s a damn lie and since dueling is out I’m going to sue his chops off.’ After Bob Windsor got one good look at Hunt’s lawyers he not only admitted he’d made the whole thing up, he issued an abject apology.



If one word of what the Enquirer has printed about Edwards is a lie – if that grainy picture they published of him holding his “love child” is doctored – Edwards ought to sue their chops off. Instead, he’s dashing up back stairwells, racing through men’s rooms and slipping out back doors dodging reporters.



His supporters say: ‘Lots of people have affairs; let no one cast the first stone and, besides, what difference does it make?’



But all that slipping up and down back stairways had nothing to do with the fallibility of flesh. Edwards had an affair with a woman being paid to work for him. If you don’t call that immorality, then how about sexual harrassment?



Edwards’ chickens came home to roost in the basement of the Beverly Hilton when the elevator door swung open and he found himself staring at a battalion of National Enquirer reporters. Since then the Crown Prince of Charlatans has been on the lam.




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Carter Wrenn

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The Crown Prince of Charlatans

One moment Barack Obama sounds like a wild-eyed liberal who’s out to “save the planet” from the icecaps melting – the next he’s turning around and coming out for offshore drilling. One moment John McCain sounds like a two-fisted independent and maverick – but at the same time down in the bowels of McCain Central a phalanx of Washington lobbyists are running his campaign. The only breath of candor this week was Paris Hilton, who hit the nail on the head in her ad when she said, I’m hot.



But if Ms. Hilton is Belle de jour, in the muddy waters of politics John McCain and Barack Obama are pikers. Because the Crown Prince of Charlatans is John Edwards.



He’s moderate. He’s ultra-liberal. He’s Mahatma Gandhi. He’s getting $400 haircuts in Beverly Hills. He’s P. T. Barnum and the flim-flam man and he’s living a life even a Rockefeller would envy – and, now, he’s done the impossible: In one fell swoop he’s made the National Enquirer a legitimate news magazine.



The Enquirer painted a pretty unflattering portrait of Edwards: While his wife had cancer, Edwards had an affair with a blonde aide. Fathered a “love child.” Got another staffer to say he – not Edwards – was the father. Got a wealthy friend to pay the woman $15,000 a month. And, finally, got caught red-handed sneaking out of a Beverly Hills hotel at 2:40 in the morning after a rendezvous in her room.



Back in 1984 when an errant tabloid newspaper publisher made the mistake of printing a story that said Jim Hunt was gay, Hunt didn’t pussyfoot around. He erupted, called a press conference and said the equivalent of, ‘That’s a damn lie and since dueling is out I’m going to sue his chops off.’ After Bob Windsor got one good look at Hunt’s lawyers he not only admitted he’d made the whole thing up, he issued an abject apology.



If one word of what the Enquirer has printed about Edwards is a lie – if that grainy picture they published of him holding his “love child” is doctored – Edwards ought to sue their chops off. Instead, he’s dashing up back stairwells, racing through men’s rooms and slipping out back doors dodging reporters.



His supporters say: ‘Lots of people have affairs; let no one cast the first stone and, besides, what difference does it make?’



But all that slipping up and down back stairways had nothing to do with the fallibility of flesh. Edwards had an affair with a woman being paid to work for him. If you don’t call that immorality, then how about sexual harrassment?



Edwards’ chickens came home to roost in the basement of the Beverly Hilton when the elevator door swung open and he found himself staring at a battalion of National Enquirer reporters. Since then the Crown Prince of Charlatans has been on the lam.




Click Here to discuss and comment on this and other articles.

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Carter Wrenn

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