In Our Time

Raleigh is full of characters and one of them is our local newspaper editor John Drescher, who’s done more to put a stop to corruption than anyone in sight, except George Holding our United States Attorney; Drescher puts the underhanded politicians on the front page then George introduces them to the Grand Jury.
 
I’ve also got a sneaking suspicion – when I look at the front page of his newspaper – that John Drescher has a bit of artist in him.
 
Take last Thursday: The headline across the front page read “Mental Health Spending Slashed” and beside it another headline read “Out of State Athletes Keep Tuition Break” – in eleven words that sums up all anyone needs to know about how our local Democratic politicians run the legislature;—they cut health care, tax everyone in sight, then hand the UNC Ram’s Club (which has $47 million in assets) a $3 million subsidy so it doesn’t have to pay out of state tuition for the football and basketball scholarships it gives quarterbacks and point guards from places like New York City.
 
Right below those two headlines was a picture of Sabrina Boyd the wife of Daniel Boyd (the dry-wall hanger from Willow Springs who as a young man converted to Islam, decided to start his own Jihad and, last week, ended up arrested for terrorism). Mrs. Boyd was standing in a photograph in the middle of the page wearing full Muslim regalia, white robe, white head piece, white face cloth – you couldn’t see a scrap of flesh anywhere except two dark eyes staring out an inch wide slit in her burka; no doubt I lack ethnocentric broad-mindedness but it sure looked a lot like a lost Klu Klux Klansman had ridden out of the past and stopped right on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in downtown Raleigh.
 
Muslims are apparently scared to death of women’s faces; it’s like they’re afraid they’ll go berserk and lose control of their appetites so they dress their women as far from temptation as possible – which reminds me of the Baptist Minister who tried to put an end to what he took to be excessive fornicating in his church by banning dancing and found out right quick he’d cured the symptom but hadn’t touched the disease and gave up. The Muslims are more stubborn than Baptists. They’re still fighting lust by covering women’s faces fifteen hundred years after Mohammed came down from the mountain.
 
Next to the picture of Boyd’s wife covered-head-to-toe was a photograph of Russian Premier Vladimir Putin wearing hardly anything, bare pectorals shining in the midday sun on a fishing, swimming and horseback riding vacation in rustic Siberia.
 
Below Putin’s picture was a photograph of former Los Angeles Lakers cheerleader Paula Abdul who just announced on Twitter there’s no way on earth she’s going to work for American Idol another year unless they pay her $10 million; on the bottom of the page was a story about ‘Bubba’ Clinton and the two journalists he just freed from North Korea, and, finally, down the side of the page was an article about how after two years of study psychologists have decided ‘gay to straight’ therapy is a waste of time.
 
This all added up to high art right on the front page of the News and Observer: A portrait of Modern Times including bumbling politicians, crazy terrorists, macho dictators, a pop diva, ‘Bubba’ on the loose and psychologists out to cure our ills.
 
All that was lacking was a picture of a ‘clunker’ – which I found on page four beside a story telling how the Senate Democrats and Republicans have decided to spend another $2 billion to buy up old cars – because they’ve discovered it’s popular to give away money.
 
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Carter Wrenn

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In Our Time

Raleigh is full of characters and one of them is our local newspaper editor John Drescher, who’s done more to put a stop to corruption than anyone in sight, except George Holding our United States Attorney; Drescher puts the underhanded politicians on the front page then George introduces them to the Grand Jury.
 
I’ve also got a sneaking suspicion – when I look at the front page of his newspaper – that John Drescher has a bit of artist in him.
 
Take last Thursday: The headline across the front page read “Mental Health Spending Slashed” and beside it another headline read “Out of State Athletes Keep Tuition Break” – in eleven words that sums up all anyone needs to know about how our local Democratic politicians run the legislature;—they cut health care, tax everyone in sight, then hand the UNC Ram’s Club (which has $47 million in assets) a $3 million subsidy so it doesn’t have to pay out of state tuition for the football and basketball scholarships it gives quarterbacks and point guards from places like New York City.
 
Right below those two headlines was a picture of Sabrina Boyd the wife of Daniel Boyd (the dry-wall hanger from Willow Springs who as a young man converted to Islam, decided to start his own Jihad and, last week, ended up arrested for terrorism). Mrs. Boyd was standing in a photograph in the middle of the page wearing full Muslim regalia, white robe, white head piece, white face cloth – you couldn’t see a scrap of flesh anywhere except two dark eyes staring out an inch wide slit in her burka; no doubt I lack ethnocentric broad-mindedness but it sure looked a lot like a lost Klu Klux Klansman had ridden out of the past and stopped right on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in downtown Raleigh.
 
Muslims are apparently scared to death of women’s faces; it’s like they’re afraid they’ll go berserk and lose control of their appetites so they dress their women as far from temptation as possible – which reminds me of the Baptist Minister who tried to put an end to what he took to be excessive fornicating in his church by banning dancing and found out right quick he’d cured the symptom but hadn’t touched the disease and gave up. The Muslims are more stubborn than Baptists. They’re still fighting lust by covering women’s faces fifteen hundred years after Mohammed came down from the mountain.
 
Next to the picture of Boyd’s wife covered-head-to-toe was a photograph of Russian Premier Vladimir Putin wearing hardly anything, bare pectorals shining in the midday sun on a fishing, swimming and horseback riding vacation in rustic Siberia.
 
Below Putin’s picture was a photograph of former Los Angeles Lakers cheerleader Paula Abdul who just announced on Twitter there’s no way on earth she’s going to work for American Idol another year unless they pay her $10 million; on the bottom of the page was a story about ‘Bubba’ Clinton and the two journalists he just freed from North Korea, and, finally, down the side of the page was an article about how after two years of study psychologists have decided ‘gay to straight’ therapy is a waste of time.
 
This all added up to high art right on the front page of the News and Observer: A portrait of Modern Times including bumbling politicians, crazy terrorists, macho dictators, a pop diva, ‘Bubba’ on the loose and psychologists out to cure our ills.
 
All that was lacking was a picture of a ‘clunker’ – which I found on page four beside a story telling how the Senate Democrats and Republicans have decided to spend another $2 billion to buy up old cars – because they’ve discovered it’s popular to give away money.
 
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Carter Wrenn

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