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Once upon a time, in the Shire of Raleigh, there was a company called Progress Energy, nee CP&L. The residents of the Shire oft complained about the company, but with affection. After all, its employees and managers and overlords and even its King lived amongst the people and even walked amongst them. The people knew that, when hurricane winds blew and wintry mixes fell, when lights blipped and power failed, and when their homes fell cold and dark, their friends at the company were hard at work getting things back in order. After all, their own families suffered with the people.
Then, one day, the Evil Empire of Duke invaded the Shire, seized control of Progress, beheaded the King, banished his court and moved the castle to the faraway Emerald City.
So when winter’s winds howled again and when ice and snow felled trees and snapped power lines, the people of the Shire wondered: Will the Empire come to our aid? Will the Emerald City care about our lowly Shire? Will the Queen even know of our plight?
For hours, thousands upon thousands of them shivered and shook in the cold and dark. They huddled together before fires. They trudged long distances to seek food and ale in nearby taverns. They looked for a hopeful word or a sign that they weren’t forgotten.
Whereupon one member of the Queen’s court decided to play a little joke on the people of the Shire. This courtier thought it amusing to tease the Shire with a picture of a warm and sunny waterfront in one of the Duke Empire’s far-flung colonies: St. Petersburg, Florida. The message to the Shire read: “To the snowy Carolinas: A picture from our St. Petersburg, FL office to warm you. Stay safe.”
To which the people of the Shire said, “Off with their heads.”


Posted in: General, Raleigh
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