A Red Corvette
2009-07-03 - by
As good as our Democratic politicians here in North Carolina are at providing us with scandals…the Academy Award this year is going to South Carolina’s Governor.
Nobody’s seen anything like what’s going on ‘South of the Border’ since Sherman burnt Columbia.
See if you can figure this out:
The Governor went to his wife and actually asked her blessing so he could go see his mistress.
Then he took his ‘spiritual advisor’ with him to meet his mistress at a New York hotel.
Then he explained to his wife he needed some private time to ‘clear his head’ – and flew off to Argentina.
He came back, went into confession, and three days later was still confessing – so now everyone knows this wasn’t his first dalliance.
It gets stranger.
Next the Governor wrote his contributors saying at first ‘he thought he would just go ahead and resign,’ then he decided that ‘for God to really work in his life he shouldn’t get off so lightly’ – so he had to make the sacrifice of staying as governor. And that, by God by the time he’s done, he’s going to show every Baptist in South Carolina the real meaning of ‘a fall from grace, a renewal, a rebuilding and, then, growth to a glorious aftermath.’
If Joel Osteen needs a replacement Sanford’s in the running.
And Sanford wasn’t done: Getting a second wind he started listing his regrets, saying regret Number1was blowing his political career then adding, ‘And I don’t want to blow my future earning power.’
Finally, he ended on a note of pure triumph saying, despite it all, “I’ve been able to do my job and in fact excel at it.”
There’s not a politician in sight in North Carolina who can match that. Not even John Edwards.
Then Sanford’s Lt. Governor, Andre Bauer, stepped onto the stage and out of a clear blue sky he up and announced to the whole world he’s not gay. I don’t mean a reporter asked him if he was gay. Instead Bauer brought it up himself. Then, I guess, all the stunned reporter could do was stammer, Well, are you? and Bauer answered: One word, two letters. No.
The next morning those two letters were plastered all over the newspapers in South Carolina.
The Lt. Governor’s 42 and single;—Senator Lindsay Graham is 54 and single and he’d better get ready because it’s open season on South Carolina politicians.
Somewhere in all this there has to be a moral – right? Well, yes.
First, whatever you do, don’t go near an open air dance floor in Uruguay – which is where Sanford met his Latin American soul-mate and lost his mind.
Second, if you’re wife is following the Sanford scandal, don’t ever, ever tell her you’re going away for a few days to ‘clear your mind.’
And, third, if the day ever comes when temptation sways by your doorstep and the words ‘soul-mate’ pop into your mind – go out and buy a red corvette.
Posted in General
A Red Corvette
2009-07-03/
As good as our Democratic politicians here in North Carolina are at providing us with scandals…the Academy Award this year is going to South Carolina’s Governor.
Nobody’s seen anything like what’s going on ‘South of the Border’ since Sherman burnt Columbia.
See if you can figure this out:
The Governor went to his wife and actually asked her blessing so he could go see his mistress.
Then he took his ‘spiritual advisor’ with him to meet his mistress at a New York hotel.
Then he explained to his wife he needed some private time to ‘clear his head’ – and flew off to Argentina.
He came back, went into confession, and three days later was still confessing – so now everyone knows this wasn’t his first dalliance.
It gets stranger.
Next the Governor wrote his contributors saying at first ‘he thought he would just go ahead and resign,’ then he decided that ‘for God to really work in his life he shouldn’t get off so lightly’ – so he had to make the sacrifice of staying as governor. And that, by God by the time he’s done, he’s going to show every Baptist in South Carolina the real meaning of ‘a fall from grace, a renewal, a rebuilding and, then, growth to a glorious aftermath.’
If Joel Osteen needs a replacement Sanford’s in the running.
And Sanford wasn’t done: Getting a second wind he started listing his regrets, saying regret Number1was blowing his political career then adding, ‘And I don’t want to blow my future earning power.’
Finally, he ended on a note of pure triumph saying, despite it all, “I’ve been able to do my job and in fact excel at it.”
There’s not a politician in sight in North Carolina who can match that. Not even John Edwards.
Then Sanford’s Lt. Governor, Andre Bauer, stepped onto the stage and out of a clear blue sky he up and announced to the whole world he’s not gay. I don’t mean a reporter asked him if he was gay. Instead Bauer brought it up himself. Then, I guess, all the stunned reporter could do was stammer, Well, are you? and Bauer answered: One word, two letters. No.
The next morning those two letters were plastered all over the newspapers in South Carolina.
The Lt. Governor’s 42 and single;—Senator Lindsay Graham is 54 and single and he’d better get ready because it’s open season on South Carolina politicians.
Somewhere in all this there has to be a moral – right? Well, yes.
First, whatever you do, don’t go near an open air dance floor in Uruguay – which is where Sanford met his Latin American soul-mate and lost his mind.
Second, if you’re wife is following the Sanford scandal, don’t ever, ever tell her you’re going away for a few days to ‘clear your mind.’
And, third, if the day ever comes when temptation sways by your doorstep and the words ‘soul-mate’ pop into your mind – go out and buy a red corvette.
Posted in General