This Space for Sale
From time to time I post blogs from an anonymous TAPster. His offerings are welcome and refreshing, welcome because they save me work, and refreshing because they offer the perspective of a seasoned observer of the Raleigh scene, as well as a certain inspired looniness that comes over a man who is all but retired and free to explore his innate gifts: playing golf, drinking wine and making fun of politicians.
Henceforth, he shall be known as The Golfer. Here is today’s epistle:
Our state is in worse financial shape than we realized if our government raises money by selling advertising space on DOT trucks.
If this pathetic, tacky response to budget woes is the answer, let’s not stop there. Here are some other ideas for monetizing state assets:
Highway Patrol cars. They are everywhere, especially when you’re speeding. Sell ad space on their fenders to bail bondsmen and personal injury lawyers. The cars will look just like NASCAR!
State parks. Sell the timber. We can’t afford to fix the bathrooms, pave the roads or pay the rangers, so why not?
Legislative Building. Rent it for wedding receptions, bar mitzvahs. It has a certain charm – when the legislators are gone.
Highway overpasses. Hang some billboards from them. Who says garish advertising, especially the kind that lights up, has to be confined to woods on the side of the road?
The Carolinian. Sell advertising on the side of the train, just like city buses. These ads would get high visibility when the train is parked in various communities along its route for police investigations after its frequent encounters with cars and people on the tracks.
Chimney Rock. Sell ad space to a beer company. They could paint the entire thing to look like a beer bottle.
DOT. Privatize it and sell it to the Fred Smith Company. Why is the state in the dump truck and motor grader business, anyway? Maybe Fred could figure out how to build enough roads in the right places before they’re actually needed, and fill the holes in the current ones.
Dix Hill. Never mind. It was just sold – from one set of taxpayers to another.
This Space for Sale
From time to time I post blogs from an anonymous TAPster. His offerings are welcome and refreshing, welcome because they save me work, and refreshing because they offer the perspective of a seasoned observer of the Raleigh scene, as well as a certain inspired looniness that comes over a man who is all but retired and free to explore his innate gifts: playing golf, drinking wine and making fun of politicians.
Henceforth, he shall be known as The Golfer. Here is today’s epistle:
Our state is in worse financial shape than we realized if our government raises money by selling advertising space on DOT trucks.
If this pathetic, tacky response to budget woes is the answer, let’s not stop there. Here are some other ideas for monetizing state assets:
Highway Patrol cars. They are everywhere, especially when you’re speeding. Sell ad space on their fenders to bail bondsmen and personal injury lawyers. The cars will look just like NASCAR!
State parks. Sell the timber. We can’t afford to fix the bathrooms, pave the roads or pay the rangers, so why not?
Legislative Building. Rent it for wedding receptions, bar mitzvahs. It has a certain charm – when the legislators are gone.
Highway overpasses. Hang some billboards from them. Who says garish advertising, especially the kind that lights up, has to be confined to woods on the side of the road?
The Carolinian. Sell advertising on the side of the train, just like city buses. These ads would get high visibility when the train is parked in various communities along its route for police investigations after its frequent encounters with cars and people on the tracks.
Chimney Rock. Sell ad space to a beer company. They could paint the entire thing to look like a beer bottle.
DOT. Privatize it and sell it to the Fred Smith Company. Why is the state in the dump truck and motor grader business, anyway? Maybe Fred could figure out how to build enough roads in the right places before they’re actually needed, and fill the holes in the current ones.
Dix Hill. Never mind. It was just sold – from one set of taxpayers to another.