Debate winners, losers and jokers

A liberal Democrat found little to like in last night’s debate, with one exception. So that’s no way to rate it. Instead, let’s handicap the horseflesh.

There were two winners, two big flops and six jokes on stage.

The winners were the only two who came across as thinking human beings rather than pre-programmed political robots: John Kasich, who was intriguing, and Ted Cruz, who was scary.

Kasich has a solid record of actually doing things, both in Congress and as Governor. He has a “compassionate conservative” message that could appeal to Independents, challenge Hillary Clinton and carry a big swing state like, say, Ohio. Fortunately for Democrats, his compassion – which includes expanding Medicaid and thereby getting in bed with President Obama – means Kasich can’t be nominated.

Cruz was smart, quick and poised. But he looks like Joe McCarthy, and he has the same cruel streak. He’d be a scary prospect as President and a rich target.

The flops were Donald Trump and Jeb Bush.

Sure enough, Trump’s act wore thin over two hours on a multi-candidate stage. He looked angry and petulant. The questions, which were pretty good overall, went right to three (but not all) of his fatal weaknesses: a sketchy business record, shifty and shifting political views, and his offensive treatment of women.

“Jeb!” may win the nomination by dint of name and money. But last night you realized that George W. might be the smart brother. Who’d have thunk that?

The other six, in no particular order, were just jokes, as the Donald would say.

Scott Walker looked like a cross between Martin Short and Mel Brooks’ Governor Le Petomane character in Blazing Saddles. (“Work, work, work! How are you today, boys?”)

Marco Rubio looked like he should be running for junior class president. In high school.

Chris Christie came across like a crooked New Jersey loudmouth.

Mike Huckabee resembled an unctuous, overly pious, self-righteous small-town Southern Baptist preacher.

Ben Carson demonstrated that politics is, in fact, harder than brain surgery.

Rand Paul looked like a college sophomore who smokes too much weed and stays up too late in the dorm reading Ayn Rand and discussing politics, religion, philosophy and whether he’ll ever get laid.

The campaign team that had to feel best last night was Hillary’s. Nobody looked like a Jeb-beater. And Americans are more likely to elect a second Clinton than a third Bush.

 

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Gary Pearce

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Debate winners, losers and jokers

A liberal Democrat found little to like in last night’s debate, with one exception. So that’s no way to rate it. Instead, let’s handicap the horseflesh.

There were two winners, two big flops and six jokes on stage.

The winners were the only two who came across as thinking human beings rather than pre-programmed political robots: John Kasich, who was intriguing, and Ted Cruz, who was scary.

Kasich has a solid record of actually doing things, both in Congress and as Governor. He has a “compassionate conservative” message that could appeal to Independents, challenge Hillary Clinton and carry a big swing state like, say, Ohio. Fortunately for Democrats, his compassion – which includes expanding Medicaid and thereby getting in bed with President Obama – means Kasich can’t be nominated.

Cruz was smart, quick and poised. But he looks like Joe McCarthy, and he has the same cruel streak. He’d be a scary prospect as President and a rich target.

The flops were Donald Trump and Jeb Bush.

Sure enough, Trump’s act wore thin over two hours on a multi-candidate stage. He looked angry and petulant. The questions, which were pretty good overall, went right to three (but not all) of his fatal weaknesses: a sketchy business record, shifty and shifting political views, and his offensive treatment of women.

“Jeb!” may win the nomination by dint of name and money. But last night you realized that George W. might be the smart brother. Who’d have thunk that?

The other six, in no particular order, were just jokes, as the Donald would say.

Scott Walker looked like a cross between Martin Short and Mel Brooks’ Governor Le Petomane character in Blazing Saddles. (“Work, work, work! How are you today, boys?”)

Marco Rubio looked like he should be running for junior class president. In high school.

Chris Christie came across like a crooked New Jersey loudmouth.

Mike Huckabee resembled an unctuous, overly pious, self-righteous small-town Southern Baptist preacher.

Ben Carson demonstrated that politics is, in fact, harder than brain surgery.

Rand Paul looked like a college sophomore who smokes too much weed and stays up too late in the dorm reading Ayn Rand and discussing politics, religion, philosophy and whether he’ll ever get laid.

The campaign team that had to feel best last night was Hillary’s. Nobody looked like a Jeb-beater. And Americans are more likely to elect a second Clinton than a third Bush.

 

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Gary Pearce

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