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10
Sarah Palin is an unending source of entertainment. She’s nearly as funny as Tina Fey’s impression of her.
 
There’s the scrambled syntax – a sure sign of a scrambled mind. The brassy denial of reality. Reading a speech ridiculing President Obama for reading a speech. Attacking the bailout that she and John McCain supported in 2008. Defending Rush Limbaugh for calling people retards while criticizing Rahm Emanuel for calling people retards.
 
And the high point: writing talking points on her hand!
 
It’s no surprise Palin has a passionate following. In a country as great and diverse as America, there are nuts of all stripes. Remember Ross Perot?
 
The only question is how much she can damage the Republican Party before her inevitable flame-out.
 
Go, Sarah, go.

 

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09
 
The legislature handed Lanier Cansler $200 million more to spend this year than last year and he promptly spent it all plus $250 million more – so, now, his department’s in the red and he’s pointing fingers at everyone in sight saying it’s their fault: The Obama Administration, the flu, the recession.  
 
Last summer, Cansler – who’s a former lobbyist – wanted to pass out $250 million in no bid contracts (a lot of them to his former clients), plus he had to repay hundreds of millions his department had overbilled Uncle Sam for Medicaid. But the legislature only increased his budget $200 million – which wasn’t enough.
 
Cansler had to come up with a solution. And he did. He cut spending on Home Care for elderly and disabled Medicaid patients $40 million – then gave one of his former clients, CCME Corporation, a $30 million no bid contract, ironically, to help manage Home Care.
 
And how did Cansler convince legislators to cut Medicaid care to old, sick people? He said they were welfare cheats. They weren’t sick, they didn’t need care and what’s more, he said, he had a gold-plated million dollar study to prove it.
 
Well, of course, as soon as legislators heard that they did just what Cansler wanted and cut the program.
 
What happened next was odd: Cansler didn’t cut anyone. Instead he told legislators he needed a new law before he could get rid of the skizzlers.  That wasn’t so, but no one stopped to wonder what Cansler was up to. In fact, Cansler’s gold-plated study wasn’t worth a plug nickel. It didn’t prove anyone was cheating Medicaid. And what that new law did was let him kick sick people off Medicaid.
 
That led Cansler head-on into a buzz saw.
 
His boss, Governor Perdue, didn’t have any qualms about letting him cut care to old, sick people – but President Obama did.  The Obama Administration didn’t like Cansler’s new law at all. And since President Obama was passing out ‘Stimulus Funds’ left and right the Democrats in the legislature figured it didn’t make sense to make him mad – so they about faced and nixed Cansler’s new law.
 
But what they didn’t do was nix the ‘cuts’ in the Home Care program – after all, why should they?  Cansler had told them the patients were cheats and the way legislators saw it there was no reason he couldn’t go ahead remove them under the old law.
 
That left Cansler in a mess. He’d dissembled and prevaricated himself into a trap. He’d misled legislators saying thousands of sick patients were cheats and, now, he had to figure out a way to kick fifteen thousand sick people off Medicaid.
 
What he did was lay low for a couple of months – until he passed out no bid contracts; then he dragged out that same old phony study and announced it proved almost all the Home Care patients were getting medical care they didn’t clinically need.
 
And who decided how much what care an eighty-year-old invalid clinically needed?  Not doctors. Not a panel of medical experts. But Lanier Cansler. Clinically needed was whatever Lanier Cansler said it was.
 
That left Cansler with one last problem: He couldn’t risk letting doctors physically examine those patients – so he announced the examinations were too expensive and used a mathematical formula (he called an algorithm) to cut care en masse. He promptly got sued twice – once by mental health care advocates and once by home care advocates – and two judges issued Temporary Restraining Orders stopping him dead in his tracks.
 
But in the blink of an eye Cansler turned that to his advantage too.
 
Last week, he trooped over to the legislature and in a tour de force performance hoodwinked everyone. In one breath he told the newspapers the companies who provide Home Care (who were suing him) were greedy capitalists and in the next breath he made the same folks sound like liberal do-gooders who wanted to give taxpayers money to welfare cheats. It worked like a charm.     
 
Not one reporter looked Cansler in the eye and asked:  Okay, you’ve been telling us for months these patients are welfare cheats – so let’s see your proof. You had to examine them to know they’re not sick.  Let’s see the examinations.
 
Cansler fooled one reporter so thoroughly the poor fellow wrote on the front page of the newspaper that Medicaid Home Care had exceeded its budget by a whooping $10 million a month because it was spending millions on welfare cheats – in fact, Home Care was spending $10 million less this year than last year and the only thing it exceeded was the phony cuts Cansler got the legislature to pass based on his phony study.
 
You have to give Lanier ‘The Fox’ Cansler credit. He waltzed out of the trap without a scratch. He’s fooled legislators with the same phony study twice. Convinced the press anyone who disagrees with him is either a greedy capitalist or a soft-hearted liberal. And not once has anyone (legislator or reporter) asked him for the examinations – he doesn’t have.
 

 

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09
Last fall’s Wake County school board elections followed The Golden Rule of Politics: Them that has the gold rules.
 
Bob Luddy and Art Pope – two of the biggest opponents of public schools – were the biggest contributors to school board candidates.
 
Their side, according to The News & Observer, outspent the other side to elect four Republican-backed candidates.
 
 
Luddy and Pope themselves contributed $38,000.
 
Here’s a place where the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on corporate campaign spending could have a big impact.
 
There are some big businesses in Raleigh and WakeCounty that care – or should care – about the public schools.
 
Time to ante up.
 

 

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08
Last week a chill just stole out of the State Board of Elections and settled over the Republicans in the State House – Democrat Leader Joe Hackney filed his campaign’s financial report.  And he has a healthy $418,000 in the bank – while Republican Leader Skip Stam has just $13,000.
 
Representative Stam made the best he could of a bad situation.  “We’re on track,” he said, adding that rather than asking people to give to his campaign fund he’s urging them to give to another special fund to elect Republicans.   He may mean the NCGOP’s House Republican Campaign Fund.  It has $54,000 in the bank.   Its Democratic counterpart has $152,000.
 
Up to now House Republicans have been pretty hopeful about the upcoming elections – but in politics dollar bills are the equivalent of soldiers.  And Hackney and the House Democrats have 570,000 of them.  While the Republicans have 67,000.  Even General Lee couldn’t whip those odds.
 
This adds up to a tough picture for Republicans:   Winning ten Democratic House seats (to take control of the House) with only $6,700 to spend on each election is going to be well-nigh impossible.
 
Democrats have given us the Easley scandal, the Tony Rand hustle, the Marc Basnight pier, a trillion dollar deficit and 11% Unemployment – but they’ve gotten one thing right: Money.
 
Funding a campaign is the hardest work in politics.  A successful candidate spends a good part of his life asking for money – Jesse Helms served in the Senate 30 years and just about every day he asked someone for money.  House Republicans don’t need any more issues but they do need cold hard cash.  So, here’s a question for the Republicans in the House:  Who did you ask for money today?
 

 

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08
I have stumbled across a state agency that’s more mismanaged than Lanier Cansler’s.
 
The Virtual Public Schools agency is (theoretically) leading North Carolina into the New Age of Internet education; students in rural areas will be taught in ‘Virtual Classrooms’ where they can learn anything from Chinese to Sanskrit – it’s technological innovation at its highest and it’s happening right here in the Old North State except for one small problem:  The agency has a computer glitch.
 
The problem’s unusual:  Public school teachers are paid a monthly salary – the State writes them a paycheck once a month; other state employees are paid either weekly or bi-weekly; but Virtual Schools instructors are paid quarterly – which has led to a terrible mess.
 
For example, let’s say Jane is a ‘Virtual Classroom’ instructor earning $5,000 a quarter; when the state fed her salary information into its computer, instead of calculating that Jane was making $20,000 a year and withholding accordingly the computer jumped the tracks and decided she was making $5,000 a week or $260,000 a year – and withheld as if she were making a quarter million dollars.
 
Which came a shock to Jane.
 
The obvious solution would have been to pay Jane monthly like all the other teachers, but the folks at School Superintendant June Atkinson’s Department said that would require more paperwork than they could bear.
 
The other obvious solution was to reprogram the state computer but the folks in charge of that (who work for Governor Perdue) said it was too much trouble and would cost too much.
 
Eventually, the powers that be got together and came up with a solution:  To lie.
 
They told the Virtual Schools instructors they should claim more deductions on their withholding forms than they really had – which in theory would fool the computer into withholding less from the instructors’ paychecks so say, Jane, would be paid the right amount.
 
That a bit sounded unorthodox and a little unethical (after all, they were lying to the IRS) but, at least, it had the virtue of convenience – until the poor instructors went on line to fill out their withholding forms.
 
That’s when they found out instead of telling one little white lie and claiming, say, ten dependents they also had to provide names and addresses and social security numbers for each of their fictional dependents – which, of course, seemed outright dishonest. The instructors balked.
 
At that point it surely looked like the best solution was to fix the computer glitch – but the logic of government bureaucrats never runs in straight lines; instead of fixing the problem they jury-rigged the computer so the instructors could claim the dependents without giving social security numbers.
 
Over in Secretary Cansler’s department the Governor’s cutting medical care to elderly and disabled patients while she and Cansler can pass out $250 million in no bid contracts and over in the payroll department the Governor’s minions are telling Virtual Schools instructors to claim false deductions to get paid. Maybe the Governor ought to try that herself – telling the IRS she has ten dependents that don’t exist on her tax withholding forms.
 

 

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08
Republicans have reason to be confident as filing opens for the 2010 elections. But I’m yet to be convinced this will be another 1994.
 
That year, Democrats – in Raleigh and Washington – were supremely overconfident, all the way to Election Day.
 
Not a problem this time.
 
Still, the cycle favors Republicans. Democrats have won big in the last two elections, so a change is due.
 
Also, Independents – the unorganized third party nationally and in North Carolina – tilt Republican. They’re unhappy, and they’ll probably take it out on the Ins.
 
But there are hopeful signs for Democrats.
 
President Obama is back in campaign mode. He challenged Republicans to a televised debate, in effect, on health care. Don’t underestimate him.
 
Statewide, while the cycle favors Republicans in the legislature, the money and the relative quality of the parties’ campaign teams favor Democrats. But will corporate money change that?
 
Locally, schools will dominate the Wake commissioners’ races, and the school board seems hell-bent on imposing its agenda, regardless of what parents said in the recent survey. That’s a sure-fire way to go over the cliff. Plus, three Republican incumbents are up this year, and only one Democrat.
 
On today’s money, I’d bet on Republican gains, but no replay of the ’94 revolution. And WakeCounty could be the outlier that goes Democratic.

 

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05
It’s the one thing you can count on in politicians: hubris.
 
Exhibit A: John Edwards.
 
Exhibit B may be the newly reenergized Republicans in Congress.
 
They’ve gone gaga over Scott Brown – and their new-found ability to block anything President Obama wants. They’re convinced the November elections will be a rerun of 1994.
 
Not so fast.
 
The Republicans may be headed over the same cliff as when they shut down the federal government – and left Raleigh without passing a budget – after 1994..
 
They look like nothing more than a collection of grim, grumpy old men.
 
Obama has this clearly in focus. And his biggest weapon is his own smiling, confident persona.
 
His strategy is taking shape. It will be Yes We Can versus Just Say No.

 

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04
20/20’s story the other night about John Edwards and mistress Rielle Hunter was brutal; after watching Edwards die the death of a thousand cuts I thought, This fellow needs a break and if he doesn’t get one this may end more badly than anyone’s imagined.
 
You couldn’t make up what’s happened to Edwards:  Sitting in a bar in New York a blonde yoga teacher turned New Age Spiritualist spots him across the room and is struck dumb because he’s bathed in  ‘aura’ of light – or so she described it later.  Next they end up in his hotel room.
 
A month later the blonde spiritualist is on Edwards’ payroll making a hundred thousand dollars and traveling to Africa with him and advising him on how to get elected President based on her reading of the alignment of his stars.
 
 Edwards returns from Africa, receives the ‘Father of the Year Award,’ renews his wedding vows with his wife and his mistress gets pregnant.
 
He moves Rielle to Chapel Hill, gets her an alias, provides her a house and a BMW and in an act of unabashed audacity talks his thirty-three year old aide (who has a wife and three children) into saying he’s the one who got Edwards’ mistress pregnant.
 
Just before the Iowa Primary a National Enquirer reporter blows their cover and the mistress, aide, wife and three children go on the lamb dodging reporters, hiding out in a hotel penthouse in Hollywood, Florida, a $14 million mansion in Aspen and a rented $20,000 a month estate in San Diego.
 
With the bills adding up Edwards arranges for a ninety-six year old heiress to send checks of between $10,000 and $200,000 in chocolate boxes to pay to keep his mistress under cover.
 
The baby’s born, the New Age Spiritualist mother decides the infant’s destined to save the universe – and the father asks the aide and a lawyer friend to fake a paternity test to prove the child’s not his.
 
Next the aide finds a sex tape starring Edwards and his mistress, the mistress sues the aide to stop him publishing using the tape and the aide – with the checks from heiress Bunny Mellon no longer flowing – in effect uses the tape to blackmail Edwards for welching on a promise to support him for life.
 
John Edwards tops any character you ever read about in a novel: For a decade he lived for the limelight but now his world’s crashed down around him and he can’t turn on a TV set or open a newspaper without seeing himself being ridiculed. His wife’s given him the boot, who knows what his children are thinking, and he’s paying a battery of lawyers because a Grand Jury’s investigating the checks in the chocolate boxes.
 
Not long ago John Edwards was the Golden Boy of politics waltzing across the stage – now the music’s stopped but it hasn’t hit him yet the dance is over but it will and when it does he may just come apart in front of our eyes. 
 
So before that happens let’s step back,  give him room to breathe and hope he has enough sense to ride quietly off into the sunset or go into a monastery  and make the most of obscurity.
 
 

 

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04
The pictures of young Ruffin Poole being led into the federal courthouse hand-cuffed has sent Democrats into a frenzy to pass another round of Ethics Reforms – and it’s like ‘déjà vu’ all over again.
 
After every scandal (from Jim Black fixing the Lottery Commission to Mike Easley’s wife getting a $170,000 a year job at State University) the poor Democrats have reformed but none of their ‘reforms’ work and there’s a reason:  The Democrats reform the wrong things.
 
Mike Easley gives tax breaks and state contracts to campaign donors and the Democrats’ solution is to ban lobbyists buying legislators dinner.
 
What Easley (and Ruffin Poole) pretty clearly were doing this time was swapping State environmental permits for donations to the Democratic Party to elect Easley.
 
So what are the Democrats going to do to stop that? Limit contributions candidates give each other. The Democrats are dead-set on reforming – the wrong thing. All they really need to do is pass one simple law that says: No one doing business with the state can give contributions or gifts to elected officials. Period.
 
So why won’t Democrats do it?
 
Because they raise millions from people doing business with the state.
 
And one thing Democrats aren’t about to do is vote for a ‘reform’ that leaves them poor as Republicans when it comes to campaign cash.
 

 

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04
Now we know why Mike Easley was so, well, weird. He wasn’t just Governor. He was Secret Agent Man.
 
Instead of a number like 007, he had a nom de guerre: Ckin Regnad.
 
This explains the need to keep his whereabouts secret and constantly change his schedule. It’s why he had to conduct much of his work in the middle of the night, leaving furtive phone messages for even his closest aides. And have a secret email account.
 
To further confound nefarious foes, he wrote backwards. Of course!
 
One mystery remains. It’s the Firesign Theater connection. Back in the day on campus, listening to Firesign Theater was a favorite pastime of those who, as they used to say, “experimented” with drugs. And not the kind of experiments that went on in chem lab.
 
I’m just saying.
 
But it’s a relief to have everything else explained.
 
Case closed.

 

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